For someone else
Someone I care about is drinking
You may see the problem before they do.
Watching someone’s relationship with alcohol change can be frustrating, frightening and confusing. You may want to persuade them, confront them or somehow make them stop.
AA does not recruit people into recovery. The person with the drinking problem has to decide whether they want to stop. What you can do is make information available.
You can
- Share the AA helpline.
- Show them where the nearest meeting is.
- Let them know that attending a meeting costs nothing.
- Tell them they can listen without committing to anything.
- Avoid making the first meeting feel like a punishment or ultimatum wherever possible.
Where your part ends
You can open the door. You cannot walk through it for them.
Knowing the difference protects both of you — and it is often the thing that keeps the door open long enough to be used.
Things you can do
- Find the meeting details and keep them somewhere they can see.
- Say what you have noticed, once, plainly, without a verdict.
- Learn what AA actually is, so you can answer their questions honestly.
Things nobody can do
- Decide for them that they have a drinking problem.
- Make attendance a condition, a punishment or a bargain.
- Carry the desire to stop on their behalf.
An important distinction
AA is for the person with the drinking problem
Some AA meetings are open to people who are not alcoholics and can help families understand what AA is. Separate fellowship and support resources also exist specifically for families and friends of alcoholics.
Sometimes a phone call is easier
You don’t need to prepare what you’re going to say.
Tell us you’re looking for help with drinking. We’ll help you find the next step.